Of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Lent
Today has been a rough day. Up until today, I can honestly say that I had rather been enjoying Lent. Since Ash Wednesday, I had been able to keep my resolutions and which have been still been maintained for for the most part, except that I had not been able to do some of the smaller things that I had intended like praying The Liturgy of the Hours, Divine Mercy and I will not be attending Mass this evening, praying Vespers with my parish or attending First Friday Devotion.
I have often hinted in the past that I have issues, to put it lightly, and I guess I am writing on my blog right now to ease my disappointment. Today's issue...chronic fatigue syndrome. Yes...I have chronic fatigue syndrome, and some people may be thinking it is make believe but let me assure you that it most certainly is not! And...today is one of those days when it just happened to beat me down. My mind was willing and my body said nope! I still maintained my fasting and abstinence through the day and did my regular devotions, but consequently did not get to do my rosary until about 20 minutes ago. I knew it from the start of the day. I set my alarm for 5:45am and I did not get out of bed until 7:30am. That is bad.
I am looking at the rest of my day and know because of my condition that I have set limits, so my traveling to church and back is just out for this evening, especially because I have to teach catechism tomorrow and if I over do it tonight, I will not be good for tomorrow. However, I think I do have enough energy to say Vespers and Compline on my own (yes...I know it is weird to start in the middle but better than not saying them) and I will still pray the rosary with my family this evening, so not all is lost, but I am a bit disappointed.
Still...looking at today, it is all kind of beautiful. I normally keep myself busy and try to offer up as much as I can to God, but to think about it in the context of today, did I really offer Him any less? I mean in terms of quantity? Perhaps. But, in terms of love and the quality of my prayer, today's prayers may be worth more I think. It is always easy to give when you have lots, but how much harder when you have nothing? Today, I felt like the old woman in the temple who cast two brass mites into the treasury (cf. Luke 21). She did not give much, but she gave all that she had. I think it is important that in our daily lives, Lent or not, that we give God all that we can. He is not concerned with how much, but the quality of what we do, but then we must always ask ourselves, have we done all that we could do?
I have often hinted in the past that I have issues, to put it lightly, and I guess I am writing on my blog right now to ease my disappointment. Today's issue...chronic fatigue syndrome. Yes...I have chronic fatigue syndrome, and some people may be thinking it is make believe but let me assure you that it most certainly is not! And...today is one of those days when it just happened to beat me down. My mind was willing and my body said nope! I still maintained my fasting and abstinence through the day and did my regular devotions, but consequently did not get to do my rosary until about 20 minutes ago. I knew it from the start of the day. I set my alarm for 5:45am and I did not get out of bed until 7:30am. That is bad.
I am looking at the rest of my day and know because of my condition that I have set limits, so my traveling to church and back is just out for this evening, especially because I have to teach catechism tomorrow and if I over do it tonight, I will not be good for tomorrow. However, I think I do have enough energy to say Vespers and Compline on my own (yes...I know it is weird to start in the middle but better than not saying them) and I will still pray the rosary with my family this evening, so not all is lost, but I am a bit disappointed.
Still...looking at today, it is all kind of beautiful. I normally keep myself busy and try to offer up as much as I can to God, but to think about it in the context of today, did I really offer Him any less? I mean in terms of quantity? Perhaps. But, in terms of love and the quality of my prayer, today's prayers may be worth more I think. It is always easy to give when you have lots, but how much harder when you have nothing? Today, I felt like the old woman in the temple who cast two brass mites into the treasury (cf. Luke 21). She did not give much, but she gave all that she had. I think it is important that in our daily lives, Lent or not, that we give God all that we can. He is not concerned with how much, but the quality of what we do, but then we must always ask ourselves, have we done all that we could do?
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