We Should Not Speak Frivolously About Others

Being Catholics, we are often called to a higher level of moral discernment than those who are worldly and must constantly asks ourselves about the paths we take and where they are to lead us. Things that are frivolous and lead us nowhere should be cast away in an expedited manner, especially those things which lead us to the occasion of sin.

In my experience, I found that we are often tried and tested and by these experiences we are formed; however, our faith and the morals and values instilled in us by that faith are often what help us to comprehend the depth of the situation. I think that one of the most common examples that is encountered in life, and is truly a test of a person's resolve to resist temptation, is not to gossip or even speak about things that matter not. We will often encounter people whom we do not get on well with, but there comes a point where our discussion about a person can transcend the mere venting of unhappy feelings and can proceed to the spreading of negative information about that person; even though, that information was not necessary for everyone to know.

We must be careful when we approach a situation and feel compelled to speak about another person negatively. The question should honestly be asked, "Is this what Jesus would do?"; "What purpose does this serve?"; "Is this truly the behavior of a Christian?" When a person is spoken about for purely the sake of conversation, it truly serves no greater purpose than our own. To be a Christian is to serve God at all times and all our actions should seek to imitate Him and present Him to all people so that when they see us, they do not see us but behold Christ in us.

We can be offended by our family, friends and even colleagues, but we should consider what Jesus spoke:

"But if your brother shall offend against you, go, and rebuke him between you and him alone. If he shall hear you, you shall gain your brother. And if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more: that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may stand. And if he will not hear them: tell the church. And if he will not hear the church, let him be to you as the heathen and publican." (Matthew 18:15-17)

 If a person offends you, speak to them if it is possible. It need not concern lots of people, but respectfully only you and the person with whom the disagreement exists. If the problem cannot be resolved then others may need to be involved, but only those who need to be. They can bear witness, give opinion, any such things. This can all be applied to today's secular environment. Now, if this involves a matter for the Church, involve the Church when it cannot be resolved by other means, but the advise in the passage tells us not to speak frivolously, to only involve those who need to be involved, in all actuality, to be humble and to act in a manner by which we gain a friend and not make an enemy. No matter what happens we must remember words from the Act of Charity Prayer:

O My God! I love Thee above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because Thou art all good and worthy of all love. I love my neighbor as myself for the love of Thee. I forgive all who have injured me and ask the pardon of all whom I have injured.

We must be willing to forgive, despite the wrong doings of another. Forgiveness does not mean we allow them to abuse us, but it means we do not harbour hate in our hearts for them due to their wrong doings. It means that we may have to bear lovingly with them daily and strive not to react in an angry manner when their behavior annoys or aggravates us. Essentially we are called to love.

The bottom line is that our words should be carefully tempered. We should not speak erroneously of people willingly nor should be backbite or tell tales about people. We should not curse people or speak in a slanderous manner of them, especially when there are so many more ways to speak constructively in a situation. We are put on this earth to serve God and we should strive to imitate Christ in all actions, so before we open our mouths we should consider if our actions are really worthy of him. Also, when considering our words, we should think about what was said in the Epistle of St. James:

"Even so the tongue is indeed a little member and boasts great things. Behold how small a fire kindles a great wood. And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is placed among our members, which defiles the whole body and inflames the wheel of our nativity, being set on fire by hell. For every nature of beasts and of birds and of serpents and of the rest is tamed and has been tamed, by the nature of man. But the tongue no man can tame, an unquiet evil, full of deadly poison. By it we bless God and the Father: and by it we curse men who are made after the likeness of God." (James 3:5-9)

When we defame or degrade someone, we attack a creature of God. We should always strive to turn away for sin and avoid talking needlessly about people's faults; rather, we should always strive to say good things and if we have nothing good to say; then, perhaps we should say nothing at all. Our tongue can be an instrument of praise, but if we are not careful it can be an instrument of violent evil which can strike to the heart of an individual and/or degrade a beautiful creature of God.

Pax tecum.