Insomnia

I am an insomniac. I think this has been a recurrent issue for me since my youth, but it is only in adulthood that it has been truly difficult for me. I have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. As a result, I find myself rising  about 1am and 3am and so on... It has been the advice of doctors that I do not remain in bed once it becomes apparent that I will not sleep, as this will cause greater anxiety and this of course leaves me with time.

I really do not like to waste time, and what I mean by that is that I like to sanctify my time, either by prayer or holy reading. I find that being awake at 1,2 or 3am that I am not always the most attentive; in fact, I can be down right zombie like. Nevertheless, it can be an excellent time to say Matins.

Now, there will be some who read this blog who will know what Matins are, and there will be others who have a question mark above their head, so allow me to elaborate.

Matins: The first of the canonical hours. Now replaced since Second Vatican Council by the Office of Readings, followed by Morning Prayer. Formerly chanted during the early hours shortly after midnight by enclosed monks and nuns who alone continue Matins as such, now. (Etym. French matin, morning.) http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/dictionary/index.cfm?id=34793

This is of course taking nothing away from the Office of Readings; in fact, you may still continue with the Liturgy of the Hours, or say the OOR in lieu, but I say the Divine Office; hence, I do prefer Matins. The funny thing for me is that one of two things will happen:

1. I will either wake up a bit more and be motivated to say Lauds and then rest/wake up.

2. I will be tired after Matins and rest.

Still, I find that this is time well spent. I say this because it is in prayer, and if we consider that 3am is also the witching hour, then what a lovely way to combat those who would make offense to our Lord.

On a more personal note, I may suffer from insomnia and many other ailments as well, but in my prayers I have always been given sufficient graces and strength to cope and embrace my state and condition. In the same respect, I have found that though my sleep may be little, through my prayer, the Lord will often grant me respite and my rest will be sufficient for my state and I will not be overwhelmed. Hence, it should be remembered that our faith and trust play a role, but our Lord is never far from those who call to him. He will always heed our prayers.

God bless you.
On the Feast of St. Alexis

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